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Saturday, September 4, 2010

Rates of Education

Aroras are a high society family living in the upper class neighborhood of Vasant Vihar located in Delhi. Mr. Lele Arora is an established film producer and owns a company which manufactures 'Aapke Dakar'(An antacid which relieves acidity). Enjoying life with his wife and their twin sons, Mr. Lele Arora is currently getting stressed with his life. The stress is giving him hair loss. The reason of the stress is one of the mischievous twin, Chandan. Now, Chandan and Vandan maybe twins but their philosophy on life is as contrary as their underwear brands. Vandan's daily basis includes studying at school and studying at home...Chandan on other hand enjoys pranking teachers/classmates at school and bugging Vandan at home. Hopefully, both of the 10 year old are in separate sections of Class 5th at their school.

Chandan is in Section A and views his class as a room of confinement. He views each of his teacher as a member of 'Al-Qaeda'! And the title of 'Osama Bin Laden' is held by his Maths Teacher, Mr. Sanki Chandra.

Mr. Chandra - Homework?

Chandan's fist' tightly clenched his pencil box, his legs froze, and his answer came in the form of a belch or in common words a burp.

Mr. Chandra - That was not your homework!

Chandan - That was a 'Dakar'....You can cure them by Antacid Fruit Salt made by my fathers company. Would you like to try our new flavor?

The whole class started to laugh and Chandan was marched to the Principal's Office. Things were starting to look a little bit dark for Section B which is Vandan's section.

Mrs. Pakhandi - Students! Today we are going to start Algebra.

Suddenly, a Peon from office came into the room.

Mrs. Pakhandi - It seems we have a special announcement from the Principal. Our, Section has been chosen for a research experiment. We are going to study, 'Graphing Logarithmic Functions' which apparently we study in Classes 11th and 12th....How exciting!

Vandan - YIPPY......!

'Sit down or I will stab you with my compass!'

After a week the Logs had seemed to cracked Vandan's mind, leading him to imagine that his sheets full of Logarithmic Graphs were talking to him.

Vandan - Logs, why are you so curved up?

Logs - It's the education system beta! Whenever a child fails or gets below average marks on his tests/exams I eat the child adding this curves on my straight and linear figure!

Vandan - Are you going to help me on the Board Test after Recess?

Logs - You have a 66.9% chance of passing the test compared to 35% population of India which is still illiterate. But, since just 7% of students graduate this lowers your percentage to the verge of becoming my dinner. My lines will reach out of the paper, then pull you in and after you are held together by my curves I will eat you!

Vandan's pants became wet.

Logs - Did you just Su - Su.....

Vandan - Sh! Quiet down. Let's make a deal. You help me on the test and I will draw a female stick figure for you.

Logs - My curves are getting a little bit edgy lately. It's a deal.

Mrs. Pakhandi's period started.

Mrs. Pakhandi - Vandan it's your turn to draw the graph on board. You may bring a piece of rough paper for calculations.

Vandan holding his Logs went in front of the board. He whispered quietly to Logs.

Vandan - KSSSHTT...Tell me the answer!

Vandan's eyes started to see Logs' lines forming words and his hands started to move at the speed of light which is c = 3.00 x 10^8 m/s.

The whole class started to laugh and when Mrs. Pakhandi looked at the board to read the joke her laughter got buried underneath her anger.

Mrs. Pakhandi - VANDAN ARORA...

Vandan - I knew what my surname was when I was in Nursery, Ma'am!

The laughter from class became heavier.

Mrs. Pakhandi - QUIET DOWN CLASS!  Explain to me the reason for such ill mannered behavior?

Vandan - It just says that, 'My communist nature forbids me from drawing any lines on the board!'

Logs - Hehe...Classic! 

Looks like Vandan's career is in jeopardy. Today the local Police were coming into every class and giving students some tips. Chandan's evil smile is enough to say that he is prepared.

Mr. Chandra - Ok, class these policemen are going to talk about the importance of our nation and what we can do to keep it safe.

Before the Policeman could speak, Chandan jumped on his bench and started screaming.

Chandan - He did it! Chandra did it...He is the head of multiple terrorist organizations. He is always teaching us Al - Geometria, Al - Alzebra...He is planning on selling each of us to different nations, after planning it with his Al - Rates of Studenta...Arrest him...Or, I will be getting eaten by a herd of bearded nudists tanning on Afghanistan rocks.

'Arrest Him, Harish!'

Mr. Chandra - You.....I will get you...You son of a....

Chandan - Son of Lele Arora!

The whole class was filled with joy and excitement. Back at Arora House, things were reversed now.

Lele Arora - Diya, Vandan is getting suspended for making fun of his teacher and Chandan is getting a medal next week for getting his terrorist teacher arrested....I think my hair are starting to grow back!

1 comment:

  1. This is like a piece from a novel. You are now moving from short stories to more descriptive stories. The idea of two so different twin brothers is good. Keep experimenting!